BEACHCOMBER 108 YEARS OLD AND AS CHARMING AS EVER...

AFTER years of allegations, rumours and unconvincing denials, the King of Fairyland has decreed that the man formerly known as Prince Charming must leave his residence in the Palace and may henceforth not use the title "Prince" but will be known simply as Notso-Charming Fairyland.

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Notso-Charming's troubles began with allegations he'd kissed a beautiful woman while she was asleep, causing her to wake. Accusations of assault and non-consensual kissing were denied by the then prince in a notorious interview in which he claimed not to remember her and never to have met her. A medical expert testified the girl had been in some sort of induced coma for 100 years and that suddenly waking up such a person with a kiss was highly dangerous. He recommended a much safer slow return to consciousness starting with bringing the patient a cup of tea.