I felt like a failure without football... therapy saved me

Former professional footballer Clarke Carlisle has spoken out during a Paisley rehab session about how he became suicidal during a struggle with alcoholism and gambling.

- SARAH WARD

Respected pro Clarke Carlisle in action for Northampton Town

The 46-year-old-who played for clubs such as Queens Park Rangers, Leeds United and Burnley in his 17-year career, and later became chairman of the Professional Footballers' Association made two attempts on his life over a 13-year period.

He revealed all on podcast episode Listen Up, made by Abbeycare, which has a residential rehabilitation centre in Erskine.

Carlisle attended Abbeycare's outreach support hub at St Mirren FC's stadium in Paisley and spoke on the podcast while visiting Scotland.

He said that, as a child, he was "anchored in external validation" from his father, and later depended on approval from managers and fans, using alcohol as a release.

The former defender, who won three caps for the England's Under-21s national team, recalled that "everything was tied into football" and his sense of self-worth was dependent on performance on the pitch.

Carlisle, from Preston in Lancashire, said: "If I played well then I was a good human and I was allowed to smile, and I could go home and be nice to my family.