Why we exchanged contracts before rings

With the average wedding now costing £18,000, it's no wonder many modern couples are putting mortgages before marriage, says Charlotte Duck

- Charlotte Duck

Victoria and James Moy had originally planned a big wedding in Edinburgh, after moving there from London so James, a pilot, could take a new V job with Flybe. "We were going to have 200 people, bespoke cocktails, an external caterer and a live folk band," says Victoria, 31, who is, helpfully, an events planner. "I wanted it to be the day of a lifetime and for me, the flowers were just as important as the venue, so they were costing a lot of money, between £3,000 and £5,000." Then the pandemic struck. "We were sat in a pub watching Sky News and saw that Flybe had folded overnight." Following this, the couple decided to move back south, finding themselves renting a home in Sussex where James retrained as a firefighter to have a steady income.

"We were then faced with a difficult decision: do we have this massive wedding that I had meticulously planned and we had saved up £15,000 for, or do we use that money towards a deposit? With the cost-of-living crisis, we didn't feel like the wedding was viable any more so we started viewing flats."

The couple still wanted to make things official so got married in November 2021 at a register office for less than £1,000. "We did it on a shoestring budget. I got my dress for £90 and we only had two mutual witnesses. It was really hard to explain this to our original guests as the invites had been sent out for the first wedding. We had to say 'no' to everyone: our parents, grandparents and siblings. It was a really difficult decision." The couple, who also had a baby shortly after getting married, plan to do a big five-year vow renewal instead. "We wanted something simple, and it was the right choice for us," says Victoria. "That moment has gone."