So fed up with his half-baked romps

COMING home to discover that my boyfriend had filled my bath with cold baked beans was a shock.

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It was my birthday, and he suggested we strip naked and get in for some slippery, squishy fun. I love baked beans and sliding around, smearing each other was hilarious. There's definitely something to be said for bonking in food. Then we jumped in a hot shower for a sexy, soapy clean up before hitting the sack for an amazing night of passion.

A few months ago, I returned from visiting family to find he'd laid a huge rubber matt on my front room floor. He blindfolded me and then proceeded to bring in buckets of red jelly, which we slithered and writhed on. He filmed me rubbing myself all over and we shared the footage with a few select friends for kicks.