'Friend' wrecked our wedding day

FURY AT BOOZY ANTICS

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MY attention-seeking mate put herself centre stage at my wedding and ruined the whole event.

She was a nightmare. She wore a big white dress with an enormous hat. She wasn’t due to give a speech but gave one anyway.

I cringed as she told everyone about my teenage crush on our old history teacher and recalled how I embarrassed myself in the playground after mistaking laxatives for chewing gum. Hilarious.

She finished by saying she'd shagged the groom (she hadn’t) and he wasn’t up to much in bed.

Cue laughter - at our expense...

Later, she even started opening some of our presents until my dad stopped her.

Then she could be found drunk in the corner of the reception telling everyone that she hoped I wouldn't have children because I’m too selfish to make a good mum.