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Celtic fans wanted answers.. what they got was more like one of Baldrick's cunning plans involving a pair of Y-fronts on the head and a couple of pencils up the nose

Daily Record

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September 08, 2025

Club chiefs’ public address has left everyone in state of shock

- BY MICHAEL GANNON

IT used to be known as Statement O'Clock during some of the wackier of the Rangers banter years.

The then Ibrox chiefs would stick out some bonkers release late on a Friday night that would have fans choking on their carry-outs.

Now it’s Celtic's turn to hit the send button during the witching hours.

Saturday evening's 1000-word Al inspired opus was a cracker.

Under-siege Parkhead bosses gave it the green light during Casualty on BBCI - which seemed pretty apt given the response was like one of those chaotic episodes of the long running drama where a helicopter crashes into an old folks’ home or something.

The entire thing felt more like a scene from Blackadder Goes Forth though, with Stephen Fry's General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett pacing in his office, preparing the latest suicide mission.

“Take this down, Darling...

Yeah, Celtic fans wanted answers but this wasn't it. They wanted clarity of the club's ambitions but it wasn't that either.

It was more like one of Baldrick's cunning plans, involving a pair of Y-fronts on the head anda couple of pencils up the nose.

It could have been all so straight forward. A cosy chat with Michael Nicholson and the club media, admitting mistakes were made in the window but it was all with Celtics best interests at heart and they’d make sure to be more prepared to take on the mighty Kairat and co next time.

Hands up and let’s all be friends again.

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