Singing the praises of separate bedrooms...

I'VE BEEN A SLEEP DIVORCEE SINCE THE DAY I GOT MARRIED 15 YEARS AGO

- HANNAH JONES

MY husband Posh Paws and I have never had an argument.

I asked a friend to put a figure on this by working out how long we'd been together - she keeps track of these things.

Little Miss Organised never misses an anniversary or birthday and always sends a card which, for useless mere mortals like me, is usually how you're reminded that Today is Special. You know the type.

Anyway, she came up with 19 years.

That’s 19 years of relative peace, quiet and not disagreeing over who wants to watch what on the telly.

"But married for 15," she reminded me.

"I know it's 19 years because that’s when your cousin was born and you called Posh Paws for the first time from your auntie’s house when you and your nan went up to ‘save the day’ with her newborn. Christ, things must have been bad if you pair were her salvation!

"And 15 years married. I know that ‘cos it was the year Inception came out and I went to see it the weekend before your wedding.