My appetite for everything

Len Lye, Star Wars and Jesus Christ Superstar changed the life of Josh Thomson, Timaru-born comedian and closeted clarinettist.

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Actor and comedian Josh Thomson puts aside his regular screen appearances on the likes of 7 Days, the Australian version of The Office and Taskmaster New Zealand, which he also directs, to deliver his new stand-up show Old Mate at the NZ International Comedy Festival. As a warm-up, he tackles our Cultural Attaché questions.

Playing with toys on a wooden floor. A sheepskin rug. Mum's and Dad's voices. My brother throwing a chunk of sheep fat at me from a fresh kill. It stuck to my chest and I ran around screaming. No one could catch me so I was AWOL for a while.

What did you want to be when you were a kid?

A scientist or Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think I've landed somewhere in the middle.

When were you happiest?

Laughing with, and at, my family. Playing on the farm. Eating all of the cake. My mum trained as a patisserie chef. She brought Tongan portions to French cuisine.

What's your greatest fear?

Where my sleepwalking might take me. I've locked myself out of a hotel room twice with no clothes on. Once I had to sleep in a broom closet until the receptionist started work the next morning.

What trait in yourself do you least like?

I get too excited about anything that is free. I've only just been able to turn down the Air New Zealand sweets.

What trait in others do you least like?

People who can't empathise. Just don't be a dick.

What characteristics do you most value in your friends?

Their willingness to call out my stupidity. I make bizarre life choices so confidently that people assume I know what I'm doing. Not my friends. They don't hesitate to tear me apart.

What's the best gift you've ever given?

My DNA. To my wife, you're welcome.