Full-throttle love

The unthinkable has happened: I have fallen out of love. This is a tragedy, but inevitable, I suppose. If you spend enough time together, the fizz of infatuation is bound to go as flat as a possum under a truck.

- GREG DIXON

Still, I can't believe it has happened. There was a time when I never wanted her out of my sight, when I would daydream about her and rave on and on to anyone who would listen about how much I cared for her.

It was like this from the very moment I laid eyes on her in that shop all those years ago. It wasn't just her lovely lines that got me going, though her lovely lines certainly got me going. It was the way she moved, the sound she made, the way she loudly knew what she was about.

Without even taking her out, I knew she was the one for me. I had to have her, and, after a bit of haggling over her price, I did have her.

For most of the time since, life has been very heaven. We have spent hours and hours together here at Lush Places, enjoying each other as if we were the only two in the world. Now those days are gone. The terrible truth is I think I am no longer in love with my ride-on mower.