THE CRYING GAME

NOTTS COUNTY FAN IAN KIRKE REFLECTS ON HIS EMOTIONAL REACTION TO THE CLUB'S PLAY-OFF SUCCESS....

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IN MY later years I've become a seasoned crier - not just at football, but in the full, messy, human sprawl of life. Films, family moments, unexpected kindness, the odd existential wobble... they can all set me off.

Sure, I've shed a tear or two at matches over the years, but I'm not the sort of bloke who dissolves into a puddle because a train is late at Derby. My emotional plumbing has standards.

But what happened after the 2025/26 League Two playoff final at Wembley was something else entirely.

This wasn't misty eyed sentimentality. This was a seismic, full body emotional event - a tidal wave that crashed through me with such force it left aftershocks rumbling for days.

Even for a man who's no stranger to a cathartic cry, this was different. And I needed to understand why.

Being a Notts County fan means living in a permanent state of emotional whiplash. Highs that scrape the heavens, lows that tunnel into the earth's core. And as the season wound its way toward the playoffs - again - the familiar dread crept in.

Having to settle for the lottery of the playoffs after being there or thereabouts for automatic promotion felt like déjà vu wearing steel-toecap boots.

Would this be another 'Spursy' moment - as Notts County legend Mark Stallard would say - flattering to deceive, then folding under pressure like we did against AFC Wimbledon the previous season? And then there was Chesterfield. The team still haunted by their 2022/23 National League play off final defeat to us on penalties under the famous arch.

Facing them again in the semifinal felt like fate was having a giggle at my expense, though, thankfully, we squeezed through 1-0 on aggregate.

Playoff finals don't do calm. They offer only two doors: blinding light or dramatic darkness. No middle ground. No emotional seatbelt.