When did Christmas get so very complicated?

It's become a high-stakes group project with tinsel on it. So what can we do to lower the temperature?

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We all know the feeling: telling ourselves we're keeping things simple, only to find ourselves stress-baking mince pies at midnight, surrounded by half-wrapped presents and wondering how we once again ended up resenting a day we've been looking forward to all year.

It starts small: one extra party, a few more names on the gift list, a late-night wrapping session you swore you wouldn't do again. For a holiday built on joy, Christmas is strangely good at burning us out. Diaries fill, lists multiply, costs creep up.

All too often sometime between the tree going up and the crackers being pulled, it all starts to feel like a production, with a script to follow, roles to play, and all the backstage graft that no one mentions.

Before we know it, we're staging a performance of Christmas instead of actually experiencing it.

Part of the problem is the brief we inherited. Family habits, adverts and half-remembered childhood moments all play a role in shaping what we think Christmas should be.

As Helen Russell, cultural commentator and bestselling author of