Live and lettuce live

Come January and everyone's on a diet. Go on, enjoy your salads. Just keep the smug looks and keto sermons to yourself

- SEEMA GOSWAMI

It is a truth universally acknowledged that January is the month when everyone begins to regret their excesses over the Christmas-New Year period.

And as surely as night follows day, those periods of extreme feasting are followed by rigorous fasting. Which is just a fancy way of saying that January finds almost everyone following some sort of diet regime to get back into shape (or, at the very least, into the trousers they were happily wearing until November of the previous year!).

I find myself surrounded by people who are not only on a diet, but are prone to aggressively announcing their new eating plans, with the unspoken assumption that I am the only Greedy Gretel, who is still stuffing her face at the beginning of the New Year. Honestly, there is nothing more annoying than the self-satisfaction of these dieters as they munch on lettuce while looking superior when I order a burger and fries.