Connection Class

VOLUNTEERING AT A CRISIS HOTLINE IMPROVED LOVE AND LIFE EDITOR LYDIA WANG'S OWN MENTAL HEALTH. AT THE SAME TIME, SHE LEARNED HOW TO HELP AND SUPPORT SOMEONE IN NEED.

- LYDIA WANG

The first time I texted into a crisis hotline, in my early 20s, I just wanted to feel that someone, somewhere in the world, was on my side. I can't recall exactly what I was going through-probably a mélange of general loneliness and mounting anxiety about something minor I'd messed up at work-but what I do remember is that I didn't want to hurt myself. I was just worried I would.

At the time, every person in my support system was presumably asleep, and whatever I was struggling with didn't feel big enough to warrant a 2 a.m. call. But I felt triggered and desperate for someone to help me stop my spiraling thoughts and get to sleep. So I sought out a hotline, and five minutes later, I was connected with a volunteer crisis counselor who introduced themself, asked what was on my mind, and talked to me for nearly an hour about every small, horrible thing that had happened that day.

My experience of becoming a trained crisis counselor myself started the exact same way: during a really bad night. It was early on in the COVID-19 pandemic, and I was unemployed and disconnected from my friends. I texted into a hotline and received a message that there was a slightly longer-than-usual wait time-more people than ever were texting into the hotline.

While I waited, restless, I went to the hotline's website and clicked "Volunteer." What I needed was a sense of connection, and maybe I could find that from the other side of a conversation. The thought helped me calm down, and I was able to fall asleep before I was even connected to a counselor.