May I Recommend Being A Serial Dater And Not Having Sex?

If you like snacks or bad TV, you're already on your way.

- MARIA YAGODA

Meet reporter and editor Maria Yagoda. She can’t remember a time when she wasn’t a scarlet woman. And by that she means an unapologetic sex-haver in regular pursuit of pleasure. “Most of my adulthood has been rhythmic app swiping, dates and hookups as fun, casual pastimes,” she says. “I relished not putting too much pressure on any of it to be perfect and amazing, and I was always deliberate about my sexual choices.” She’d been relishing her slut era so much when the pandemic brought a swift change of pace. 

Living with severe chronic depression, especially during a global emergency, made it impossible for Maria to prioritise sex. She had a super-finite energy supply and little motivation, and getting through all the steps that eventually led to sex took so much effort. The apps exhausted her – and so did going on dates, schlepping to bars and just generally meeting people to bang became a lot harder. “I was forced to be selective about where I was giving my time and my standards skyrocketed,” says Maria. Was this worth putting on pants and a bra? Besides, the majority of the sex she was having wasn’t exactly blowing her mind, so physical intimacy was, in a way, a natural thing to let go of at the time. And since then, she’s been single and sexless.