![Attachment, Aversion, and Freedom](https://cdn.magzter.com/1435990246/1696411115/articles/qTF7UUcZt1696507971600/ATTACHMENT-AVERSION-AND-FREEDOM.jpg)
I am an emotional and sensitive person. Since childhood, I've found myself getting extremely attached to people and subsequently getting hurt. What I realise now is that I unconsciously build up expectations of how the other person should love me or like me, care for me, and understand me. Of course, these are beyond my control, and when these expectations aren't fulfilled, I end up feeling frustrated, sad, or even angry, and worst of all, less loved.
Most often, our family members are the ones who bear the brunt of our anger and frustration because we expect the most from them. We even decide what's what they should do for their own benefit, and we try to push them to do that. In our unconscious attempt at controlling them, we cross boundaries and end up having arguments, fights, and resenting each other.
The dilemma
Being Jain by religion, since childhood, I have had access to the wisdom of nuns and monks. I've always heard them say "Raag kam karo, dvesh kam karo," which means reducing your attachment towards the things that you desire and your aversions towards that which you dislike. I've often asked how I can do this but have never received a satisfactory response. What I've heard repeatedly from everyone around me is "Why are you getting so affected? It is not such a big deal. If you get so emotional about small things, how will you live life?" If this bit of advice was genuinely helpful, I think humans would have learnt to be less emotionally fragile and happier a long time ago!
Bu hikaye Life Positive dergisinin October 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
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Bu hikaye Life Positive dergisinin October 2023 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
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