Fail-safely

If the invisible clock of life is anything to go by, all of us should constantly be chasing professional success or risk getting left behind. At 33, SADAF SHAIKH is ready to hang up her gloves.

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AT SOME POINT during a road trip with your best friends from college or in the calm lull after a late-night rager, you will be asked: what was the happiest moment of your life? You cannot escape this canon event; it is unavoidable and inevitable. My turn came two years ago, as my friend and I were floating on our backs in the pool of a Sri Lankan hotel. A montage of memories hurtled past: seeing my name among the list of school toppers after the matriculation exams; bagging the job I'd been gunning for; watching the veil part when my partner and I said “qubool hai”; becoming an aunt; swimming with manta rays in the Maldives. So the words that came out of my mouth felt alien: “I took a six-month sabbatical in 2021. Every day, I would wake up, read a book, watch a movie, eat lunch by the window, nap and play video games. Nothing has made me happier.”

As soon as I said it, I knew it had been true for some time, although I had been unwilling to admit it to myself. Growing up in a middle-class Indian household, ‘purpose’, ‘ambition’, ‘goals’ and ‘motivation’ were drilled into me like I was a building under perpetual construction. In school, I excelled at academics, sports and dramatics; I graduated from college with outstanding grades; and when I landed a job in publishing after a stint in public relations, it felt like the proverbial fruit of my labour had finally dropped into my hand, ripe and juicy.