SOME FUNNY THINGS ABOUT GETTING OLD

Children run alongside and taunt you, because you're old, but you don't care, because your hearing is shot!

- BY JACK HANDEY

Your hair falls out, but you can't tell, because your eyesight is shot. You brush your bald head with a stiff bristle brush, but you can't feel it, because the nerves in your scalp are all shot!

A rattlesnake bites you on the leg, but the poison doesn't go to your heart, because your veins are all shot!

You have a dream that your eyesight is perfect and your hearing is perfect, but when you wake up you can't remember it, because your memory is shot!