Balance Your Emotions, Money Math

Our relationship with money is rooted in the past, while being played out in the present. It is naturally complicated, deeply personal, and very emotional

- LARISSA FERNAND

Many years ago, a financial planner in the UK narrated an incident to me. Her best friend was asked by another close friend—prefaced politely with ‘if you don’t mind me asking’—“what was your bonus this year”. The lady was shocked and clamped up, and replied tersely after a few moments of considered silence, “much less than I expected or deserved”.

The person who posed the question was a schoolteacher who was just curious to know about other work environments. There was no malice or judgement in her questioning. In fact, they were a close knit circle of friends who cared for each other. But the one who was reluctant to reveal the details believed that everyone wanted to know the details to take advantage of her. This stemmed from the fact that her family tended to take her for granted as she was financially well-off, and it was always assumed that she would pick up the tab for a meal, show up with expensive gifts, and be obliged to lend money when asked.

Our beliefs about money are deeply subconscious and play out emotionally in all circumstances; and while our relationship with money is often connected to our early understanding of money, it still cannot be generalised.