Denemek ALTIN - Özgür

Cloud-HoppingNot exactly Pub-Hopping

DataQuest

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February 2023

Imagine yourself in a fast lane on a superhighway. After a few exhilarating minutes of hair talking to the wind, and Beatles blazing in the stereo; you realise that your car is not yet ready for this speed, this road, this toll-tax. You want to change lanes. To slide into a road that matches your driving style, fuel tank and speed limit. But can you?

Cloud-HoppingNot exactly Pub-Hopping

Watching The Menu’ movie feels eerie from the very first scene. Despite the red-carpet welcome, the meticulous arrangements, the air of exclusivity, the suave staff, the company of high society something is off in that elegant island. The guests are supposed to be treated with a specially crafted many-course haute cuisine by a coveted Chef. And amidst well-marinated satire, dark humour, and mind-shaking epiphanies what follows is unexpected turbulence, knives not meant for slicing food, blood gushing out between fancily-plated gourmet plates and a suffocating sense of, well, being locked in.

Guests try to run, to break windows, to scream, to throw tantrums but nothing helps. Unless a girl who was never supposed to be on this special list does something obvious and unexpected. And she gets to get out. Exactly how we will come to that in a bit.

But it is an attempt that some enterprises also seem to opt for while feeling indigestion with the Cloud-buffet they opted for. They are trying everything repatriation, hybridisation, scale-back, right-sizing, moving to special-purpose hardware or infrastructure optimisation. It can be due to unexpected shocks of Cloud economics, hidden Cloud bills that were not visible before, indirect breathlessness due to vendor lock-in or some data control/sovereignty issue.

WHEN DOES IT FEEL UMM, NOT RIGHT’

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