MONARCH OF MAYHEM

Now With an Emissions Clause

- SANEET DSILVA

Kings don’t go quietly into retirement. They don’t shuffle off into the sunset in linen jackets and tartan slippers. No, they go out in noise and fury, occasionally catching fire, which is why, when I heard that the new BMW M5, the seventh born in a long bloodline of four-door, petrol-powered Bavarian lunacy, was now part EV, my heart broke slightly. Not because I hate electricity. But because kings don’t sip tea. They swing swords.

The 2025 M5 is not so much a new chapter as it is a constitutional crisis. You see, it’s still technically the crown prince of the M lineage, but someone’s clearly been whispering into the royal ear about emissions, responsibility, and Greta Thunberg.

The Hybrid Coronation

Let’s address the wattage in the room first. Yes, the new M5 is a plug-in hybrid. Underneath that long bonnet, you still get a 4.4-litre twin-turbocharged V8, but now it’s paired with an electric motor and a battery pack the size of Liechtenstein. Combined? You're looking at 717bhp and 1,000Nm of torque, which means, in old money, enough grunt to tear the asphalt off the road and throw it into orbit via all four wheels. But and there’s always a “but”, this newfound firepower comes with a caveat. Weight! The new M5 weighs more than a V8-powered X5 SUV. That’s not a metaphor. It’s literally heavier than a house. And so, while the power numbers are nuclear, the experience is more... moderated. It’s like being given Excalibur but only being allowed to butter toast with it.