Not Being A Mum Doesn't Make Life Meaningless

Kiran Sidhu explains how being child-free has left her feeling judged

- Kiran Sidhu

It’s unusual in my Indian culture not to have children. It was never my intention to not have kids, it just didn’t happen for me and I’m is others, my extended family, who seem to have a problem with it. And unfortunately, over the years, I have noticed that this is not restricted to my family. There’s a societal pearl-clutching at the thought a woman could be without children and be happy.

I live a full life. I am fortunate enough to have made a career out of something I love, writing. And because it’s a job that I feel I was destined to do, it’s a life that is lled with meaning and purpose. And yet, this is never acknowledged by my culture. An aunt said to me, ‘What is the point of it all if you don’t have children?’ I relayed this to my husband, Simon, and friends; they told me to ignore such a myopic viewpoint. But the words stayed with me. It forced me to examine my life.

I was never the girl at school who talked about having kids one day. I always talked about travelling, about being a writer and about meeting all kinds of wonderful people who would challenge me and make me see life in both unusual and insightful ways. I assumed children would play some role in the future - but when they didn’t arrive, it wasn’t the end of my world.

THE EXPECTATIONS