Nothing to smile about
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|January 23, 2020
As the doctors pieced me back together, the thug who put me in hospital was grinning for the camera
Sipping my drink, I turned to face the man who’d just tapped me on the shoulder.
‘Craig?’ I gasped. Silly question. I’d recognise that grin anywhere.
It was late 2014, and I was at the pub with friends – didn’t expect to be bumping into my ex.
Craig and I had gone out together when I was 16 and he was 21. He was a charmer, even if he was missing a front tooth!
But I soon realised Craig also had a nasty temper.
‘I never liked him,’ my sister Emma, then 14, said to me when Craig and I split three years later.
Now, here he was again.
As we chatted over beers at the bar, a familiar spark was reignited.
‘It’s always been you,’ he told me, giving me that big smile. And he made me melt all over again.
After that, I saw Craig most days, and it wasn’t long before I fell pregnant.
We hadn’t planned it, but Craig was delighted.
‘We’ll be a proper family!’ he said to me.
Those first weeks were so exciting as we chatted about what we’d call our baby, whether we’d have a boy or a girl.

Then, in May 2015, at my 12-week scan, the sonographer couldn’t find a heartbeat.
‘I’m sorry to say you’ve miscarried,’ a doctor confirmed.
I turned to Craig, a lump in my throat.
But all I saw was his back as he stormed out of the room.
He’s upset, too, I thought, walking home alone.
But Craig didn’t answer my calls or texts and I didn’t see him for days.
Grieving for our baby, I’d never felt so lonely.
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