EAST MOVES WEST IN - TOTAL WAR: WARHAMMER II

Can stubborn dwarfs colonize the far side of the world?

- Matt Elliott

THE RULES

1. My lord must travel from Mount Silverspear to the Fallen Gates.

2. My army can’t be led by a special character.

3. My capital, Karaz-aKarak, must survive.

There is such a thing as a dwarf ranger, but they’re viewed with suspicion. In dwarf society, all that sun and fresh air is considered bad for your health. So the idea of taking an army from the cool, comforting holds of the World’s Edge Mountains all the way to the westernmost part of the Mortal Empires map in Total War: Warhammer II is a fool’s errand. Only a wazzock would contemplate such a thing. I’m proud to say I am that wazzock.

First, I need to pick a goal. I choose the Fallen Gate, a savannah settlement on the western fringe of the map with a climate inexplicably suitable for dwarfs. This involves a bit of planning, which feels like cheating, but it’s a necessary concession. In my head, it’s an ancient dwarf myth: a new world suitable for the sons of Grungni, where smooth stone sleeps under jungle fronds. There are other rules to establish. It would be easy enough to amass a huge force led by a powerful character, and flatten whatever unsuspecting race we find holed up at our destination. But there’s no way High King Thorgrim Grudgebearer would take this journey; that would be like your racist brother-in-law holidaying further east than Great Yarmouth. Instead, he’ll stay behind and maintain our second objective: Ensuring my capital, Karaz-a-Karak, stays out of wretched orc hands.