Pursuing The Terrible Twos In The Sims 4 Part I

Raising a digital human child the PC Gamer way. What could go wrong?

- Philippa Warr

Lured in by the promise of bee costumes and ball pits, I have decided to raise my very own child in The Sims 4. Squillions of people have raised babies so it can’t be that hard, right? Also I was a child once so I’m basically an expert. This diary is going to be a walk in the park.

I wasn’t actually that interested in a Sims child until I saw the Toddler Stuff pack for The Sims 4. As in real life, the children get all the best toys and all the best clothes. Suddenly having a digital child made sense.

Obviously, raising this human might be easier said than done. The Sims universe’s social services department has an entire shelf of paperwork dedicated to my misdeeds in earlier games. Countless offspring have been wrested from my care after I neglected the care part of the equation.

With that in mind, I have decided to pick a new name for my Sim instead of using my real name – that way she will be harder to trace. No background checks for… Loretta Hewitt? Yes. I am Loretta Hewitt of Daisy Hovel, which is in the cheap neighbourhood of Willow Creek.

I haven’t given much thought to the logistics of acquiring a baby other than outlining a vague ‘Boot Up The Sims – ??? – Get Baby’ process, where ‘???’ would just present itself. This is likely why I found myself four hours into Project Baby and was still tinkering around with my lawn plants.

SETTING THE SCENE