The Story Of Us
Verve|August - September 2019
In popular culture, adopted offspring are often represented as being burdened by the debt of gratitude. Emphasising that, in actuality, it was her adopted twin daughters who gave her a life to look forward to, Lakshmi Iyer feels that mainstream entertainment should be more sensitive about reflecting the lived experiences of adoptees to ensure that they do not trigger trauma or perpetuate inaccurate narratives.
The Story Of Us

We inch our way through the dark aisles of Movie Tavern, navigating to our assigned seats. This is one of the newer chains near Philadelphia, complete with plush reclining seats and food that is brought to us. My husband, my youngest daughter, my twins and I are seated next to one another. We munch on popcorn and sip on water while watching the trailers and hope the film will soon start.

The movie, Shazam!, is from the DC Universe and about one of the many lesser-known superheroes from that canon. Our motley group comprises our family and a bunch of serious ten-year-old girls with a few additional chaperones. The movie is a part of a birthday celebration for a friend’s child (also adopted). In the regular world, parents do not have to think too much about taking their children to an appropriately-rated movie. But, our family falls outside the bell curve. We are outliers. My husband and I are of Indian origin, our older twins are Caucasian, and our youngest was born to us.

Adoption touches our lives in ways big and small. We agonise over health history and openness. We also take time to think and research before taking our children to the movies. You see, triggers lurk everywhere. A tragic scene that hardly touches a ‘normal’ child could be a trigger for something deeper, a fissure that erupts into a geyser for someone who is dealing with trauma. Adoption is trauma.

I have done my research before the movie, looking up reviews and ensuring that it is appropriate for children. Before picking Shazam!, I had vetoed Dumbo after reading reviews that suggested it could be triggering for children who have experienced loss.

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