Being Elliot Page

In December 2020, after disclosing that he is transgender, the Oscar-nominated actor and star of Netflix's The Umbrella Academy (season 3 out June 22) became the most famous trans man on the planet. That's made him the target of indescribable hate but has also brought him unimaginable joy. Here, in his own words, he talks about his childhood, his career, his transition, and his life, though not necessarily in that order.

- By Bill Mullen Photographs by Ruven Afanador

What have I learned from transitioning? I can't overstate the biggest joy, which is really seeing yourself. I know I look different to others, but to me, I'm just starting to look like myself. It's indescribable, because I'm just like, there I am. And thank God. Here I am. So the greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present. To go out in a group of new people and be able to engage in a way where I didn't feel this constant sensation to flee from my body, this never-ending sensation of anxiety and nervousness and wanting out.

When I say I couldn't have ever imagined feeling that way, I mean that with every sense of me.

My dad had a cabin on the south shore of Nova Scotia with no running water or electricity. I was obsessed with tree frogs. I would watch them hop along for hours, probably because of how tiny they were. I've noticed as an adult how nourishing and crucial it is for me to feel connected to nature. I need it. When I'm in those spaces, my whole body will relax. My stress dissipates. I can get quiet.

I spent a lot of my childhood in the woods.

When I was a little kid, all I wanted my parents to play was the Bodyguard soundtrack. Loved. And Annie Lennox, Medusa. I think that had a lot to do with the cover. I'd just stare at Annie Lennox. My mum's music was a lot of Cat Stevens and Sting. The Tragically Hip-they's fantastic. My dad was more jazz-Shirley Horn, Ruth Brown.

I don't think I ever actually saw The Bodyguard. I should watch it. Now I'm feeling embarrassed.

T-shirt and trousers, Celine by Hedi Slimane; ring by Sterling Assault.