The Great Christmas Treat

Drawing on 40 years of experience–and a missing-child story or two–Jonathan Self shares his top tips for planning a family-friendly, festive day out

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IN 1979, aged 20, I took my nephew to see the Christmas lights in Oxford Street. Not because he wanted to see them (he was a tiny baby), but because I did. The fact is that nothing enhances the pleasure of a Christmas treat in London more than the addition of a child or two. The more the merrier, in fact, because they bring a level of excitement, innocence, energy and joy that no adult companions ever could.

Not that they haven’t been mildly troublesome on occasion over the decades. One year, a small child, who shall remain nameless in order to spare his blushes (Jack), disappeared from the Harrods Toy Department (also known as the Seven Circles of Hell), causing the whole shop to be locked down and searched (he was discovered trying on cravats in Menswear).

Another year, an even smaller child (Bert) insisted on inspecting every single item for sale in Hamleys (Hades), which took him three hours on account of his size, before deciding that he didn’t really want a present at all (as I told him, children who receive no presents only have them elves to blame). Then there was the year that my godchildren (Jane, Tom and Cosimo) were delivered to me in such a cake-and- Coke-induced state of hyperactivity that we had to abandon £400 worth of theatre seats. In short, the little angels do require a certain amount of careful husbandry.

Anyway, to mark the 40th anniversary of our Christmas expeditions, I have produced a short guide to the best that London has to offer they h very young and, in my case, the not-so-young.

Eleven ways to keep them busy