You Are Not Alone

Making friends isn’t always easy, but it’s worth the effort. studies show that a social circle is good for the body as well as the soul.

- Megan Jones with Gagan Dhillon

SHARILENE ROWLAND wasn’t used to flying solo. She’d married young and had her first child when she was 25. But after she divorced and her two sons decamped from the nest, the 53-year old caterer discovered that the only real social events she attended were the ones where she was hired to cook the food. She had maintained a few close friendships over the years, but the majority of her pals lived in other cities. Her typical evening went something like this: head home after work, make dinner, and … sit around. “I was in my 50s, single and very lonely,” she says.

Unfortunately, Rowland has plenty of company when it comes to the solitary life. Midlife is when strong ties become both most important to our health and most difficult to maintain.

In this age of changing social fabric, loneliness is inevitable. Lost in our screens and bogged down by deadlines, we rarely have real interactions with people. Studies show that nearly 80 per cent of those under 18 years and 40 per cent of those over 65 years feel lonely. “While the internet facilitates a virtual connection, it limits face-to-face interactions with people. Physical presence impacts how we connect with another person. Proximity to another human is essential to feel reassured and comforted,” says Dr Senthil Reddi, additional professor, NIMHANS, Bengaluru.

A 2014 study published in the Journal of Clinical & Diagnostic Research examined the correlation between loneliness, psychiatric disorders and physical health. It stressed early intervention to prevent sleep disorders, personality disorders, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, hypertension, physiological ageing and Alzheimer’s.