Tough Love

Three Indian Women Attempt to Navigate the Highs and Lows of Being 40 and Single. They Tell Elle About the Challenges of Dating When You’re “over the Hill”

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If you’re a single woman approaching 40, it’s likely you’ve had the aunty brigade, hot on your heels, pressing you for your marriage plans, and nosy neighbours scrutinising your private life. Not to mention, frequent admonishments from your weary mum who’s keeping a careful register of everyone who got married before you.

You shrug. It isn’t like you’re not putting yourself out there. You go on blind dates, you try meeting people online, you relent and let dogged friends and family set you up. But dating, as an older woman, is a virtual minefield, and the results can more often range from hilarious to plain disastrous. Like the guy who couldn’t stop talking about his mother, or the lovely woman who turned out to be a raging bigot. And while this provides fodder for many a girls’ night—maybe you’ll even write a book about it someday—there is that niggle. Is this what it’s going to be like, then? You can admit you’re more set in your ways, too—no longer as impulsive, as forthcoming or as forgiving. But then, doesn’t the pursuit of romance call for a little foolishness, a little bravado?

So, should you throw in your cards or keep playing your hand till you win? Never mind Mister/ Miss Right, only Right-this minute? Doesn’t love come to those who wait?

Three women answer these burning questions and tell us their stories of looking for love on the cusp of the big four-oh.

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