Vinyl Apocalypse

Solving the Lp Shelving Dilemma

- Robert Baird

THE THREE MOST TRAUMATIC EVENTS ANYONE CAN EXPERIENCE IN LIFE? THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE? A SURPRISE AUDIT BY THE IRS? YOUR ENTIRE LP COLLECTION PURLOINED BY A DISGRUNTLED EX-LOVER?

And, oh yes—moving.

As 2016 turned to 2017, my wife and I were forced to move from an apartment we wrongly assumed we’d never ever have to leave, which in New York City means a lot. Perhaps we were just a tad naïve?

In any case, moving meant not only throwing away shirts I hadn’t worn since high school and deciding how many Led Zeppelin T-shirts was too many, but also packing up every last petroleum-based morsel of an ever burgeoning collection of recorded music. LPs, CDs, SACDs, 78s, laser discs, boxes of cassettes and 7" 45s, the odd eight track tape, a reel-to-reel or two, even a sizable crate of wax cylinders—if there’s a physical-media sickness out there, I’ve got it.

After 14 hours of movers carrying boxes up and down stairs, the momentous task was complete, only hours before a full-blown blizzard paralyzed Gotham. But we were snug inside our new place, one entire bedroom filled to the ceiling with boxes of music.

One key concept to moving physical media you care about, even if it’s just around the corner, is to invest in sturdy packing boxes. www.bagsunlimited. com is a good choice. You’d be surprised how many dings and drops and near disasters can happen when movers, who’ve become exhausted and utterly disgusted with the seemingly endless piles of heavy, almost lethal LP boxes, begin to lose interest in the quality of their work.

After a suitable period of post-moving recovery, during which my wife avoided speaking to me as she gazed on the piles and wondered how she’d ever allowed this agglomeration to happen, the idea of organizing and buying new record shelves began to come to the fore.