Great Expectations

All her life KATE REID dreamed of a career in Formula One. When reality didn’t live up to the dream, anorexia took over. It was baking, says the Lune Croissanterie founder, that put her on the path to recovery.

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From a young age I had my entire life planned out: a predetermined university degree in aerospace engineering, followed by an inevitable move to the United Kingdom, with the ambition to be the first female technical director of a Formula One team. By the time I was offered my first role as aerodynamicist at Williams F1, I’d been working toward this goal with single-minded determination for a decade.

High expectations are dangerous. Where I’d imagined a creative, collaborative environment, the reality was long days in front of a computer with minimal human interaction, churning out designs with multiple variations. Directives, not moments of brilliance. Eighteen months in and I hated my job. A rather unexpected predicament. The subtle signs of depression set in. Maybe designing Formula One cars actually wasn’t for me.

Dissatisfied and unhappy at work, struggling through the grey English winter and missing home, I joined a gym in the hope of making some new friends. It became my safe haven and I started to exercise a lot. Regular assessments at the gym included weight tracking, as well as being “educated” on nutrition and calorie burning. It didn’t take long for me to recognise that this was a numbers game, and I started to play it. Although I’d never been overweight or unhealthy, there was something deeply satisfying about watching the number on the scales decrease. I started a spreadsheet where, daily, I’d record my weight, exercise and food intake. It was so controllable and had tangible results. And it was addictive.