The Best Made-Up Words Ever

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean— neither more nor less.” — Through the looking glass.

- Bill Bouldin

I agree with Mr. Dumpty: Words have meaning. But surely we can seize upon a meaning and then create a word to match it. The following words—some culled from the crowdsourced online dictionary urbandictionary.com and others I’ve concocted myself—don’t exist according to Merriam-Webster … but should. I call them “worderfuls.”

A

a crapella

(ah kra-'peh-luh) adj.— Sung (badly) while listening to music using headphones.

athlethargy

(ath-'leh-ther-jee) n.— The triumph of the La-Z- Boy over the StairMaster.

B

basebull

('bays-bull) n.—The endless litany of RBIs, ERAs, OPS, WHIP, and hits at the fingertips of every major-league basebore.

beerboard

('beer-bohrd) v.—To extract secret information from colleagues by getting them drunk.

blamestorming

('blaym-stohr-ming) n.—The act of attempting to identify the person who is most at fault for a plan’s failure.

C

carcolepsy

('kahr-kuh-lep-see) n.— The tendency to fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving.

caroma

(kah-'roh-muh) n.— The smell of that month-old bean burrito under the front seat that keeps you out of the carpool.