I wasn’t good enough. What made it worse were the boys who repeatedly said, "go home". But where did they want me to go? I was born in Coventry, but clearly wasn't good enough to belong there either. Then the labelling started at the school parents' evening: "She's really bright but quiet." "She needs to speak up in class." How can you speak up when your heart is racing incredibly fast, your mind is blank, and your mouth is dry because you're petrified of being humiliated and know people wish you didn't exist?
Then there was the Asian community, which I adore, but also comes with immense pressure. Everyone is an uncle or aunt and you're expected to speak to all enthusiastically. Sometimes, uncles and aunties would pinch my cheeks out of affection and make comments about my size which varied from too thin to chubby. Being judged and scrutinised was horrible. I'd freeze and not know what to say or how to respond so I'd hide behind the sofa anytime people visited our home to avoid them.
This story is from the August 21, 2022 edition of The Independent.
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This story is from the August 21, 2022 edition of The Independent.
Subscribe to Magzter GOLD to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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