Answering Our Most Popular LGBTQ + Questions
Cosmopolitan - South Africa|September 2019
Nothing’s too weird for COSMO’s sex and relationships director Faye Brennan

There are no gay bars – like, zero – in my town, and apps are killing me. How can I meet LGBTQ+ people to date?

A I hear you on the dating-app fatigue… Start by searching on Facebook for local LGBTQ+ groups and RSVPing to events they post, suggests leading LGBTQ+ expert Kryss Shane. Yeah, you’ll still be using your phone to take the first step, but finding out where everyone’s hanging will get you into actual, in-person sitches – and hopefully, on a date – sooner.

How can I ‘talk dir ty’ without conflating my partner’s genitalia and gender?

A Easy: whether or not they link their downstairs sitch to their gender or identity, there are so many hot ways to compliment them for their ridiculously good moves. Some fire lines straight from psychologist Liz Powell (which, TBH, I wish I could take credit for): ‘I love the way you use your fingers’, ‘your mouth is so amazing’, ‘you feel so good on top of me’ and ‘the sounds you make get me so turned on’. Those are compliments anyone would love to hear.

Why do I feel pressure to ‘prove’ I’m bi when I’ve only ever dated one gender?

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