Acabo de llegar. El reloj de la estufa parpadea mostrando la hora, 1:03 am; lleno un vaso de agua mientras al mismo tiempo me quito los tacones que uso desde ayer a las 7:30 am. Mi boca tiene impregnado el olor de varios shots de tequila y media cajetilla de cigarros light. Bebo el agua, estoy muy sedienta. Antes de que comience a amanecer veo cómo mi celular se enciende con un texto de alguien que no recuerdo muy bien haber conocido la noche anterior. Mis ojos se sorprenden al leer su mensaje, el cual dice: “Ven, no tardes”. Me quedo analizándolo y considero escaparme, cuando de repente solo recuerdo que... hoy apenas es miércoles.
A muchas chicas, esto puede sonar como una noche típica de martes para una mujer promedio de 26 años, en especial si vives en una gran ciudad, como yo. Sin embargo, para mí, cada fumada de cigarrillo, trago de alcohol, línea de cocaína que he experimentado en los baños, ligeramente alumbrados y chico rebelde con quien me he besado al final de la noche, tiene consecuencias muy graves debido a que mi familia es musulmana, y eso significa que desaprobaría firmemente el 99% de mi conducta de esta jornada. Tan firmes que, de hecho, si la descubrieran, para ellos sería mejor que estuviera muerta. En definitiva, cortarían cualquier contacto conmigo.
Soy mi propio tipo de musulmana. Esto quiere decir que vivo, en gran parte, bajo los estándares occidentales. Y eso es un problema para todos, desde los hombres con quienes salgo, mis amistades cercanas, y, sobre todo, para mi familia, que amo más que nada en este mundo.
También implica que llevo mi vida en un estado perpetuo de fractura, atrapada entre dos expectativas culturales, y las consecuencias psicológicas que pueden ser abrumadoras para miles de hombres y mujeres musulmanes como yo.
Ser diferente
This story is from the Octubre 19 - 2019 edition of Cosmopolitan en Español - México.
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This story is from the Octubre 19 - 2019 edition of Cosmopolitan en Español - México.
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