What I Wish Parents Knew about Social Media

I study social media for a living. Here's how parents can help their kids use it safely and productively

- BY LAURA EDELSON

ON FRIDAY AFTERNOONS, shortly before the school bus arrives, my mom comes to my house. She ambles into my kitchen to make a cup of tea, and after a few minutes my preteen son runs through the back door. They will chat briefly, but inevitably my son will ask to watch YouTube videos on my mom's tablet. Then they will sit on the couch and watch videos of people playing Minecraft or Super Mario Odyssey or some combination of the two for an hour or so, until my husband and I finish work.

Occasionally I will find myself looking over their shoulders as formulaic videos with the same jump cuts and extreme closeups, made by people I have never heard of (but who have millions of subscribers), play. I research social media for a living, and I still find myself wondering: Is it okay that my son is watching this? If junk food for the brain existed, these videos might be it.

Clearly, I don't ban all screens in my house, and I wouldn't tell you to ban them in yours, either. But in my work I've seen how little transparency social media companies offer parents and kids about how their systems operate—and how much harm that invisibility can do. In a recent look at the algorithms driving these platforms—what are called feed algorithms—my coauthors and I found that only one of the major platforms, X, makes details of how its system works publicly transparent. This is not okay.

There's some good news, though: through research not sponsored by social media platforms, we are learning more about where the most serious risks to kids and teens are and what things parents can do to manage those risks. Understanding the design of these systems, and talking with your child about them, is one of the most powerful tools you have to keep your family safe and supported online.

There are three things I wish every parent understood about how social media works and how to discuss it with their kids.