I AM

In a quiet meditation on desire, stillness, and the witnessing Self, JARNA KHIMANI traces the shift from seeking to being.

- JARNA KHIMANI

To the one-year-old me, all that mattered was to wrap myself in my mommy's arms and feel that profound sense of security and love.

To the eleven-year-old me, receiving my friends' approval on my clothing was primary. To the twenty-one-year-old me, achieving good grades in college was the sole focus. To the thirty-one-year-old me, passion and work were most important.

Now, here I am, sitting in a quaint little cafe, reflecting on each phase of my life, and how caught up I was—and how caught up I am today, as other dimensions preoccupy my mind. Will always be something more—something new—that I will desire from life?

I recall so clearly how my grandfather desired that we as a family should move to a house that we could call our own. He lived an incredible life, yet it tore him up in his last moments that he couldn't buy a new home. As my mind wanders to those fragile moments, I am sure that my desires will likewise evolve and upgrade, and that there will always be something that feels primary at every point in my life—whether for myself or for others.