Balance between embarrassing the children and oneself...

Dropping the U15s off after the final game of the season, the left back's dad was washing his car outside his house.

- with Mike Hill

Before I'd had the chance to check myself, I'd wound down the window and shouted, “you can do mine next if you want.”

It's the sort of terrible quip which has never encouraged anyone to refill their bucket, rinse off the chamois and nip round to take up the offer.

I instantly became aware of the U15 centre back glaring at me before accusing me-quite correctly-of being guilty of the most unfunny 'dad joke' as he branded it. As if moving into the parenthood stage of life renders all future attempts at humour null and void.