Violent relationships: A new trend, or an enduring structure?

Violent relationships reflect deep societal flaws—rushed marriages, lack of emotional education, and cultural silence turn love into suffering.

- ACHARYA PRASHANT

Every now and then, a disturbing news story grabs the nation's attention—one that seems too extraordinarily gruesome to be real, yet involves seemingly ordinary people. We would like to call such incidents as aberrations. Yet, truth be told, they are actually a reflection of something much more ubiquitous and disturbing: a more pervasive social and psychological deterioration that frequently goes unnoticed beneath the surface of lives that appear to be normal.

These are not stories of seasoned criminals. Most of the time, the individuals involved come from modest, middle-class backgrounds, have respectable jobs, and appear to lead normal lives. The question then becomes: how do these people end up being caught up in such darkness? What turns normal interpersonal relationships into arenas of hostility, oppression, or even violence?

The real issue isn't limited to isolated individuals—it lies in the cultural and educational frameworks that shaped them. There is a fundamental lack of inner clarity, grounding, and wisdom in how we prepare people—especially the young—for love, responsibility, and life itself. If we want to understand the violent stories from intimate relationships that have started flowing in too regularly to be dismissed as freak occurrences, here are a few pointers: RETHINKING HOW WE UNDERSTAND LOVE We often speak of love, surrender, and purity as lofty ideals, yet their essence remains unexplained and unrealized at home and in our education system. As a result, the youth remain unprepared to embody these values in life.

Too often, what we call love is shallow—driven by attraction or social convenience rather than self-awareness. Marriages are still arranged based on dowries, caste, income, or skin tone. When relationships are built on social calculations rather than authentic connections, resentment tends to build—and sometimes, it spills over into tragedy or even violence.