Parents' WhatsApp chat groups aren't so bad after all

Is this actual intimacy? Or just another performative digital stage, where we present a version of the parent we'd like to be?

- Emma Rosenblum

They're back. After the holidays, the parents' WhatsApp group chats are waking up like sleepy teenagers, the buzzes and dings gradually increasing.

At first, it was just a few – someone chiming in to remind everyone about after-school registration. A couple of replies, saying thanks for the info, hope everyone is having a great end of summer, a few hearts and thumbs-up.

Then more started to appear, with links to baseball programmes, travel soccer questions and someone asking: "When is the first day of school? I should know this."

Soon, the groups will return in full force, notifications ding-ding-dinging all day and sometimes well into the night.

At any given time, I belong to around 10 parents' WhatsApp groups: Some are permanent, like one for each of my sons' classes and a couple for sports like soccer and tennis.

Throughout the year, sub-groups pop up, depending on need. A group named for an eight-year-old's birthday (the pictures from Rye Playland were adorable); one called "Islanders Game Bus #1" (the Islanders won; the boys had a blast!). They keep chattering on.

Children's after-school schedules, homework, carpool, birthday parties and teacher gifts. What field to meet at, what coach to call, what doctor is best, what colour shirt to wear that day.

Sometimes – ding! – it's as simple as the weather: "It's going to rain, don't forget an umbrella for drop-off!" Sometimes – ding! – it's so hilariously passive aggressive that it compels me to take a screenshot and send it to another, smaller WhatsApp group, with a different name, something like "haters", accompanied by a laughing-crying emoji.