How to Have a Modern Wedding Without Losing the Plot (or the Parents)

Younger couples are pushing back against lavish traditions or ceremonies that lack meaning to them. But that doesn't mean disrupting tradition for the sake of it.

- Nicole Chan

The moment my partner and I got engaged last September, the questions started pouring in from family and friends. Not just about when and where, but "how many tables", "are you doing the tea ceremony", and my personal favourite: "Got consult the feng shui master already?"

It became clear that planning a wedding wasn't just about celebrating love — it's about managing tradition, expectations and, sometimes, decades-old family politics over a 10-course meal. What's more, in Asian households, weddings don't only mark the start of a marriage, but are also about families, legacy, reputation and who gets to take credit for a well-raised child.

Older generations tend to believe a wedding should be lavish because it's tied to family pride and saving face. For them, it's less about the couple's personal preferences and more about upholding customs and showing respect to their relatives.

But lately, I've seen more Gen Z couples — in their early to mid-20s — start to push back more openly against this.

Weddings are often associated with fancy locations like a hotel ballroom or high-end restaurant. But in 2023, a Singaporean couple made headlines for tying the knot at a McDonald's outlet in West Coast Park.

Sure, getting married at a fast-food joint might sound unorthodox. But for the couple, it was perfectly on-brand — they saw it as an honest reflection of who they were: fuss-free, grounded and focused on what really mattered.

The rise of "hotpot weddings" at Haidilao in China reflects a similar shift. These pared-back celebrations have been framed as budget hacks, but they're also soft rejections of the idea that weddings need to be lavish or traditional to be meaningful. I've even seen black wedding dresses trending on TikTok and Reddit, something that would probably raise a few eyebrows in many Asian families.