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How emotionally immature parents harm their kids

The Straits Times

|

June 02, 2025

As parents, we need to be sensitive when a child says he or she is hurt or emotionally troubled by our words or behaviours

- Abel Ang

Parents can fail you. Contrary to the narrative that all parents naturally love and protect their children, some parents can instead be self-preoccupied, egocentric and have little empathy for their progeny.

Such emotionally immature parents can go on to raise kids who grow up feeling unseen and lonely.

This is the central thesis of the best-selling book Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents (2015) by Lindsay C. Gibson, an American clinical psychologist.

The slow burner has reportedly sold 1.2 million copies and spent six weeks on the New York Times' bestseller list in 2023, eight years after the book was first published.

The book has developed a cult following on social media, with fans talking about how it has changed their view of their parents. It has given them the courage to take action to protect themselves and their psychological well-being.

Gibson believes that emotionally immature parents have one defining characteristic: None of them puts his or her child's needs first.

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