‘Hey! You Ought to Forgive’: a guide to breaking cycles of hurt

IN HEY! You Ought to Forgive, author Mahlatse Nchabeleng addresses one of the hardest commands of the heart: forgiveness.

- LUTHO PASIYA

She speaks not from theory but from personal confrontation with disappointment, betrayal and pain.

“I wrote this book because I once lived with silent wounds,” she says, “wounds so deep that even when I smiled, my soul still bled”

This book rises from that inner dialogue, from the moment she realised that unforgiveness had become a prison she was living in.

Nchabeleng does not present forgiveness as an easy choice. Instead, she walks readers through the emotional weight of carrying resentment.

She reflects on those hidden scars people learn to live with. “So many move through life functioning yet broken,’ she says. “They master strength on the outside but crumble when alone.

His message is not to diminish pain, but to confront it honestly, because healing cannot begin in denial. Forgiveness, she insists, does not deny what happened; it denies the pain, the power to rule us.

The book weaves together personal stories, biblical accounts and reflections. It speaks to those rooted in faith, but it also reaches anyone searching for release from bitterness.

Forgiveness is portrayed as a universal struggle that transcends faiths, families and communities.

“Whether you read the Bible or not,’ she writes, “you have faced someone who hurt you. We all stand at the crossroads of resentment and release.”

Through the story of Joseph, the betrayal by his brothers, and the eventual embrace of reconciliation, Nchabeleng reminds readers that pain can be real without becoming final.

Her own journey began when she realised that forgiving someone was not about declaring them innocent.

“I forgave not because they changed,” she explains, “but because I refused to stay chained”