Do I Like Him Or Is It 'Comphet'? Navigating Love As A Bisexual Woman

Whenever I discuss my sexual orientation with friends or romantic interests, I've always identified myself with the label "bisexual." I've had my fair share of crushes on men, women, and people in between.

- By MARGA ANCHETA

Looking back, though, I often question, did I really like the men I had crushes on, or was I just conforming to expectations set by society?

Compulsory heterosexuality or "comphet" is defined as the societal pressure placed upon individuals to conform to a heterosexual relationship and its roles, even if they don't identify as such.

As a kid, I was just exposed to couples that showed a man and a woman. I remember having a notion that maybe liking girls romantically was possible only in sixth grade; that was only through being exposed and digging through fanfiction between two men. Only through the lens of fanfiction and fandom spaces did I discover that people of the same sex could be together.

As years passed and I entered high school, I started to accept that I did, in fact, like girls. Being in an all-girl Catholic high school and being exposed to sapphics and relationships between girls made it feel like the norm. I then started questioning that notion of mine when we had to go through school-organized interactions with boys from all-boys schools. I had giant crushes on guys that I found cute at the time, and I would want to be in a relationship with them. In retrospect, though, I don't think I liked any of them to the degree that I had when I had crushes on girls.