THE ‘GIRL WITH THE LIST’: SPARKING HONEST CHATS ABOUT PREGNANCY’S HIDDEN HAZARDS

WHEN TikTok creator and new mother Sarah Biggers-Stewart opened up about her harrowing postpartum experience in 2023, one viewer's comment stood out: “Where's the girl with the list?”

- VUYILE MADWANTSI

It was a reference to the now-infamous “Pregnancy List”, a growing catalogue of more than 350 reasons why someone might think twice about having children.

For many, this list has become a form of free birth control, offering an unflinching look into the brutal realities of pregnancy and childbirth that often go unspoken.

The girl with the list

The list began with TikTok creator Yuni (@yuniquethoughts), who in 2021 casually started adding reasons not to have children in her Apple Notes app.

What began as a joke quickly turned into a cultural phenomenon. Every time another creator shared a video detailing an unexpected or shocking pregnancy symptom, Yuni would stitch the video and add it to her growing list.

Over time, her “cons” vastly outnumbered her “pros”, painting a raw and sometimes terrifying picture of what the body endures during pregnancy.

The reasons range from the common, like tearing during vaginal birth, severe nausea or hair loss, to the almost unbelievable: teeth falling out, bones separating, nipples detaching, and even obstetric fistula, a devastating childbirth injury that leaves women incontinent.

“Reason number one why I will not be having children,” one video proclaims, “is they literally tear through your vagina. Tear!! Your skin apart so the little gremlins can evacuate.”

It's equal parts horrifying and relatable content, depending on who's watching. Some dismiss the list as fear-mongering, but for others, it’s a rare form of honesty in a digital landscape that often romanticises motherhood.