Gardening? It’s always been sex and slugs and rock’n’roll

When I heard that the Chelsea Flower Show plans to unveil its first sex-themed garden this year, my first thought was, why did it take them so long?

- ROWAN PELLING

Erotic intimacy was entwined with horticulture long before housewives’ hottie Monty Don became a twinkle in his mother’s eye. Some would say the coupling dates from the start of time. If you’re a creationist, carnal knowledge came into existence in the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve bit into that juicy apple from the Tree of Knowledge. Suddenly, they were aware of being naked — and we all know where thoughts of that type can lead.

“Aphrodite’s Hothouse”, sponsored by the sex-toy retailer Lovehoney, is being designed by Chelsea gold medal winner James Whiting and will focus on “flirty” and “playful” plants, including ones with heart-shaped leaves: the scarlet-and-yellow anthurium, with its rudely protuberant spadex, has been offered as one example, alongside the inevitable orchids. Although it seems to me that all flowers are flirty, playful and downright wanton. How else can you view plants with sexual organs (stamens, pistils, even ovaries) that have evolved to flaunt their captivating blossoms at nectar-seeking bees and other insects?