Why won't my struggling pals come to live with me?

I'm in the fortunate position of owning my own home and some land without a mortgage (in a very affordable and somewhat remote area), and every week I hear more stories from friends about their struggles to get by. We’re all in our 30s, but I feel as if my stress levels are infinitely lower than theirs. I’ve offered to let people stay rent-free so they can save for a house, or even put a mobile home on the land. But I feel I’m barely making a difference.

- Annalisa Barbieri

I know it sucks to ask for help, especially from friends, and it is looked down on.

Do you have any suggestions for how I could share the perks I enjoy with my friends and lighten their load a little bit, without a sense of shame or failure accompanying that for them?

It’s wonderful that you want to help your friends. But I wonder if they’re less worried about feeling shame and more about the potential loss of satisfaction at making it on their own.

I went to psychotherapist Chris Mills with your letter. “Your wish to share your resources and good fortune is very touching,” he said. “The offers you're making sound heartfelt and generous, but when you say ‘I feel I’m barely making a difference; I’m assuming you mean that these offers aren’t being taken up, at least not as much as you’d hoped or expected.”