I can't stand my sister's husband. What can I do about him?

I love my sister. But I can't stand her husband. He is an idiot who thinks he is better than other people and talks down to them. I am a man in my 50s and I used to visit my sister a lot, but now I would rather do something else. I try to hide it, but it must be clear I am not keen on him. They have been married for eight years and things are getting worse; he used to work and contribute, but now he doesn't even do that. What can I do? I want to support my sister while spending as little time as possible with her husband.

- Annalisa Barbieri

This happens in lots of families, unfortunately. Unless one's parents split and remarry, it's usually only when siblings partner up that a new person is brought into the family and the dynamics change. We all wish these additions bring joy and harmony, but sadly often they do not. And then we're not only saddled with a person we don't like, but we're left looking at the person who brought them in and thinking, "Really?" This can lead to all manner of unravelling of childhood feelings when it's a sibling.

Reading your letter I was left wondering about many things - the age gap between you and your sister, what your relationship was like before, how you were brought up.