TRAUMA-GOAL LOOP: WHY SOME PEOPLE SELF-SABOTAGE WINS

headers and plain-language explanations of why wins can trigger self-sabotage, and what small steps can help break the cycle.

- DR CHANDNI TUGNAIT

Some people find that success makes them uneasy. A promotion, a praise-filled email, or finally finishing a big project can feel oddly threatening.

Instead of celebrating, they do things that make the success fall apart. This is not laziness or stupidity. Often, it is a pattern formed long ago, where the mind and body try to protect themselves from something unfamiliar. We call this the 'trauma-goal loop.' Below are simple comfort with the known.

Failure is familiar: When your past was full of sudden losses, chaos, or punishment, failure becomes familiar. The brain learns that certain outcomes, like getting hurt or rejected, are normal. So when something good happens, it feels scary because it doesn't fit the old pattern. Acting in ways that cause failure, such as missing deadlines or backing out, restores the feeling that things are predictable. It's not a rational choice; it's a comfort with the known.