Rocking my living room

THIS year I decided I'd give Glastonbury a miss. With the BBC lining up its usual comprehensive coverage - kicking off tonight at 7pm on BBC4, with further bits on BBC1 (7.30pm) and BBC2 (8pm) - I figured I'd just stay at home and watch it on the telly instead.

- Mike Ward

And to be honest with you, it wasn't the toughest decision I've ever had to make. Last year, in fact, I did the same. Likewise the year before that. And, if I remember rightly, the year before that.

In fact, now I stop to think about it, it's the same decision I've been making since the dawn of time. The number of occasions on which I've attended a Glastonbury Festival is precisely zero, and will almost certainly remain that way unless Labour make it compulsory, which I guess we shouldn't entirely rule out.

Don't get me wrong, it's not because there are never any acts there that I'm a fan of. It's because, over the course of a typical Glastonbury weekend, there are lots.